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Hey friends, quick message off the top here. We're getting near to the end of the season.
I know, I know, it's happening. This is season two, episode 153, and the finale will be
season two, episode 156, which wraps up this entire last six years of story for
us before we move on to something else, something new, something exciting. But we
want to hear your questions. So in the description of this episode and the next
few episodes, we'll have a Google form. So as you have questions, put them in
there. Let us know as you have comments about the season, about the characters,
about anything that you've experienced while listening to the show. We want to
hear it. So again, description, there's a Google form, a couple little fields
that you can fill out. Give us as many questions as you want, as many
comments as you want. We'd love to hear them. And if you can get those
to us on or before October 2nd, we'll be recording the Q&A episode for
our patrons live at our monthly gook hang. If you want to be there, of
course, you can join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. But that's
enough rambling from me. We've got a few quick ads for you and then we will
get to this episode. Thank you so much. Talk to you soon.
Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
And he steps into this flame that begins to widen in front of him as it
opens this view into the material plane. And we see we just came back
from there and we see an unassuming water deep from where you're standing.
You can see through this portal from the sides around you. You hear the
movement of all those demonic creatures as they rush towards it and
push you back.
You know, pouring out into the world.
I get out. Let's go.
Everybody turns and begins walking towards the two orcas tunnel.
You don't see it, but there's a bit of a glow in the satchel of Sullivan
slight. There's an image that appears on the mirror and the scene of the
other team, the decimators of dragons and all of their various
assorted players begins to play out the door opens and they approach
orcas on his throne and battle begins and there's a flicker in the mirror.
There's this bright light that appears.
The picture goes dark.
You hear like this patting
at the tapestry beside you on a wall far some 50 or 60 feet off into
the distance. You hear a small voice come from behind.
I never fucking know how to get out of these things. It's just embarrassed
it.
I think you just have to jimmy the handle.
The handle? What are you talking about? It's a tapestry hanging from a wall.
So there's no handle.
No, there's no here. Oh, the edge of it. So this is enormous.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More. He
him also with me today is Carla Max dead.
She her I sure am. And I am also here as glim and lip sync he both also
she her. It's happening guys.
And Tom Laird. He him. Yeah, I'm here with moot and flint or board or
whatever we got going on there. Also he him for everyone. And Amy More.
Yeah, I'm here. She her and I'm playing Sullivan's light. He him
don't mind my voice. And also night hunter who is they she and then
also the who is she and I'm excited to be here.
You're so good for being here. Oh my god. And to play more characters
than anyone. Yeah, I took a half day off of work. Also joining us
Kristen Flemmons. She her I'm playing a gas. Also she her and
racks. He doesn't really care. But he him. He's here for the party.
And call class it. Hey, everyone. He him and I'm playing Vorunax.
Also he him. All right, Amy, how much do you want to be involved
in the conversation here? Well, I go not long and stuff. I think
those are words. Yeah, I think it definitely has like a pitch
that zoom likes to cut out. Oh, no, that's okay. It'll be good.
I'll try real hard. It'll be great. Welcome, everybody. It's
been so long since we've seen all of you and we get to meet up
with some characters that we haven't heard from in a little
bit too. I'm excited. Everybody's excited. Yeah, it's
gonna be a good time. Where we have been doing lots of crazy
things. And by crazy things, I mean, following Tom's story.
Through the adventures of Patreon, Patreon.com slash dumb
dragon cast, where when you're a patron, you get access to a
whole other podcast that releases monthly for you. Tom,
if you could sum up this most recent season in like two
sentences. Could you do? Okay, probably not. I will just
say there's a heavy dose of chaos. Oh, see, I was going
to use the two words standard season. standard. Yeah, just a
standard. Just a standard season. Pretty, pretty usual
for me. You can get that over at Patreon.com slash dumb
dragon cast. But you also get an episode dedicated to you
like today's patron twiglets are great to eat.
Twiglets are great to eat. I don't know what a twiglet
is, but I buy it. It's a Pokemon, right? It sounds
like a Pokemon. And they're great to eat. So I love it.
Gotta chomp them all. Yep. Thank you for being a patron
and for also for the meal recommendation. Yes. Oh, you
guys. Always looking for snacks. Twiglets are food. Oh,
twiglets are food. They're like little pretzel things.
Oh, sounds great. That tracks. Yeah, pretzels, twigs.
Yeah, I'm into it. Right. Sweet. Okay, twiglets, maybe a
Pokemon or a pretzel. Educational, nutritional. And
the good news is, Amy's quite sick. So like Russ probably
isn't gonna kill us this episode, because that'd be
rude, right? That'd be so mean. Super rude. Yeah. It
wouldn't be. It would be uncouth. We're gonna make it
through this one. Is what it would be. So she couldn't
even have her final monologue of whichever
character. It's gonna be so long. You know what?
Actually, now for reframing that, this might be the
night that everybody dies. Real short sweet death.
Hoisted on our own retard. Thank you. Twiglets are
great to eat. We appreciate you and all the things that
you do. Now, fuck it. Let's play. Play, play, play,
play.
We hear footsteps down a long echoing tunnel. There's the
dripping, soft dripping of water coming down the sides.
And Moot, Glim, Sully, and Agath have been walking for
an indeterminate amount of time, so long that they've
managed to take a long rest somewhere along the way. And
Sully, in their hand, is holding the eye of Vecna. So
like, who's gonna dare me to do it? I'm surprised you
haven't done it already. Like, I mean, you've been
holding it and rolled it around in the dirt. It's
like, it's not gonna get any worse. I mean, and
like, Flammokins has been daring you over and over
and over to do it. Yeah, so like you want somebody
somebody else to dare you. I wouldn't feel right about
it, because I feel like me and you're like, there's
some history. I have no opinion on this, obviously.
Maybe like a double dog dare. Maybe I'm not sure.
I'm just trying to like get my confidence up. This
thing is kind of gross, and it's true. I did drop
it a few times, so it's not totally sanitary.
It was sanitary before?
Whoa.
I mean, more so than now.
Wait a second, it could have been more sanitary.
We don't know where it had been previously. Maybe
it was sitting in a bucket of sanitizer back in
the hoard of Diamat.
Well, that would explain why it's so bloodshot.
Right? Don't try it out.
So you're gonna do it?
Well, I'd be like, what's the worst thing that's
gonna happen?
You die.
Yeah, we might find out quickly.
We might. Or, nope, I'm not saying anything
because I, you, me. Never mind. Never mind.
Do you just want to like write it in my
notebook and I can say it?
Um, well, just if you could. I mean, we're
going to fight like a pretty big bad guy. So
maybe like it would help.
Yeah, I don't think you're wrong.
I just...
Do it, Sully. Do it. I want to see it.
You know what? Yeah, me too. What's like, I
mean, I can always pull it out, right?
Right?
Okay, Sully kind of like blows off the...
and tries to like dust the eyeball off a
little bit. And then like lifts his eye
patch and just shoves that sucker in there.
As you shove that sucker in there, like
there's this squelch of a sound that you
feel and hear within your own head.
And there's this echoing low voice.
It's been a long time.
Hello, Sullivan's Light.
Hello, voice inside my head.
Did we hear that too, or it was just in
Sully's head?
Oh, just in Sullivan's Light's head.
I assumed, but...
So I'm just talking to myself.
As you do.
As one does when they shove a strange
eyeball in their head.
I bet you could hear the voice if you
open Sullivan's mouth.
But Sully's just talking out loud or...
Oh, yeah.
I said it out loud.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, I think I just assumed maybe
everyone could hear it too.
Which is why you said voice inside my
head.
Oh, yeah, I did.
How do you know how to talk in your
head?
It's just been a really long hallway.
So we've been having like these really
sort of existential conversations about,
are you the voice in your head?
Are you the person hearing the voice
in your head?
Is society the voice in your head?
A lot of muttering.
OK, so the Eye of Echna.
So when you put it in, you get a
set of random properties.
One minor beneficial property, one
major beneficial property, and a
minor detrimental property.
You also get a whole slew of other
things, which are all available in
your item there, which includes
True Sight.
You can see as if you were wearing
a ring of x-ray vision if you use
it as an action.
And it also has eight charges of
the following spells.
Clairvoyance, Crown of Madness,
Disintegrate, Dominate Monster,
and Eyebite.
Roll 3D10, please.
So you get Levitate at a seventh
level.
You gain flight and speed equal
to your walking speed.
OK, and now a minor property.
Roll 2D20, please.
31.
31.
You have Advantage on Ability.
That fucking sucks.
And now for the bad one.
I do not think the good is
outweighing the bad here.
OK, roll 3D10, please.
19.
Soul Trap.
If you die, your soul is trapped
within this item.
Oh, God.
And you cannot be resurrected
unless this item is destroyed.
I mean, in the list of bad
things, it's kind of that bad.
I mean, you're already dead.
So we've never had any major
characters die.
Exactly.
There's basically no chance it
could happen.
So, like, you're fine.
That's right.
OK, so, yeah, you you pop the eye
in and you you gain you can
where before it was quite dark
in this hallway, like
everything becomes clear.
You have these powers imbued
upon you.
You describe how you feel.
Well, a little tingly.
You know, kind of like
maybe a little more magical
than I ever was.
But also a sense of foreboding
and worry and regret.
The voice in your head.
Echoes forth and says.
I'll warn you once,
but please do be careful
as you use these new power.
Why?
Hmm, I've been alone
for a long time
and I've been very hungry.
Oh, oh, should I eat something?
Like, what are you?
Like, that is an eye eat.
I'm not sure about our relationship here.
So for your knowledge,
each time you cast a spell
from the eye, there is a five percent
chance that Vecna tears
your soul from your body,
devours it and then takes control
of your body like a puppet.
What the fuck?
Now, would that be the real bad thing
you were referring to?
Quite a bad one.
As opposed to the gun.
No.
OK, OK.
So I can levitate
and fucking have advantage
on ability checks that we never do.
And and and in return,
I get to have possibly my soul
trapped inside the eye
or fucking ripped from my body
and used as a puppet.
Yeah, mistakes were made.
As you've been walking with this eye
now in kind of trying to
moisturize it as you blink.
You hear a ruckus,
a cacophony of sound
coming from up ahead.
Sully, you see it before anyone else does,
but there's like this rippled fabric
that you're coming up to
at the end of this hall.
Oh, guys, I think we're about to
be a part of my worst nightmare.
We're going to be on stage.
I don't know my lines.
Oh, I mean, I'm ready.
I can do like a quick
demonstration of something
or like just do one arm push ups.
People always love that.
I mean, everybody loves that.
So like, don't worry.
You could sit on my back
while I do the one arm push ups.
Like you'll be part of the show,
but you won't have any lines.
It'll be no problem.
We defeating him
in a talent contest is that
can't rule it out.
I hadn't considered this possibility.
I have to do something better
than one arm push ups.
Yeah, like what if we just like
do some great and embarrass him entirely?
Oh, roast of orcas.
Yes, roast of orcas.
That's what we're going to do.
Please, please.
We're going to rap battle orcas to death.
We should have thought of this plan
at the beginning of the walk
and had time to think about it.
I have not trained for this.
How do I find that?
It's so hard to find the opening
to these frickin curtains.
Like, what the hell?
Fubble, fubble, fubble.
On the other side.
As the car, as the as the tapestry
that you see it is being pulled to the side,
Orcas is standing now 30 feet tall
and this glowing aura all about him.
Flames roiling up from the center of this pit
in the middle of his throne room.
Moot Glimsulley and Agath
and Glamikins come around the corner
and you see this scene as demons
are pouring out of the shadows
and down towards this portal
in the middle of this throne room.
Across, you see the other team
Bort, Thea, Lipsinki, Vorunax and Nighthunter
standing, as last we saw them,
defeated and dumbstruck
as everything is pouring into the material plane.
Orcas is letting out this huge cackling laughter
as he looks down at the team,
not noticing Moot Glimsulley and Agath yet.
Looks down at the team in the doorway
and waves his hand
and with a force through the air,
you feel this impact into your body.
Everybody in that doorway,
make a strength saving throw, please.
OK, so Lipsinki and Bort,
you are blown back 15 feet,
but still standing as this force hits you.
Everybody else, this wave of energy
comes across and hits you.
You feel your chest, like the air is sucked out of it
and you're blasted back
until you hit the wall behind you,
which is 25 feet.
And you're going to take
12 bludgeoning damage
as you crumple and are now prone on this floor.
I'm glad we haven't noticed that our teammates have arrived,
because it would be so embarrassing if we knew
this is when they walked in.
Super.
Of course, Vorunax will stand up as soon as he's able to.
As you are all collecting yourselves, Moot Glimsulley,
I'm not going to keep saying 12 names.
Team Celestia, you see this team being blown back
and all these demons rush in.
What do you do?
I start the rap battle.
What else is there to do?
Yeah, someone lay down a beat.
A microphone is conveniently right there.
I do feel like horses would be pretty good at beatboxing.
I mean, yeah, I very much agree.
I think you're right. Yeah, 100 percent.
Flamikins Kins puts her fingers to her lips
and then closes the curtain.
So they didn't see us.
What if we went back to Tiamat?
And got better shit? Full stop, full stop.
What if we went back to Tiamat?
Lesser of two evils, they're trapped there.
Orcus isn't going to let Tiamat out.
It's a safe zone.
I mean, I really thought there was like a step two
to your plan.
Yeah.
You know, I thought there was when I started.
I put this fucking eye in.
You did.
Are you just trying to get back to Tiamat?
Because this isn't really the time,
I don't think, for like a little romantic interlude.
It's not time to bone.
I'm not afraid.
I was just trying to get laid.
It rhymes, so it must be true.
I mean, it must be true.
Why is that tattooed on my ass?
So now?
OK, plan B.
Moot, go.
OK.
We're spitballing.
We're brainstorming.
We didn't think of this at all from the whole.
This is the conversations we've
been having for the last who knows how many days.
This is just the flashback conversation to, yeah.
Guys, I need to tell you something important
because I read my character sheet.
Aura of protection.
All friendly creatures within 10 feet of me
have a plus three to all saving throws.
And aura of warding.
Love it.
All friendly creatures within 10 feet of me
have resistance to damage from spells.
Aura of courage.
You and friendly creatures within 10 feet of you
can't be frightened.
There's so many auras.
All relevant things.
I love this.
So that's all happening.
I'm not going to remember that.
I didn't remember it's my own character sheet.
Do we sneak?
I mean, we don't need to sneak.
He doesn't see us.
So do we just like blast him?
Or?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's as tall as 12 houses.
He's so tall.
It's fine.
And he's like, there's that glow thing happening,
which is disconcerting.
I don't think he wants to hear.
I don't think he wants a pamphlet, which
is kind of like one of my standard go-tos
when I meet a new.
Love it.
OK.
OK, Agath?
Agath, you got anything?
So I think you look over and Agath is just sort of like
tightening all of the tack.
Yeah, all the like saddle and bridle, just making sure.
And just like swinging up onto Rax's back
and like getting the flail in her hand.
Like, what is there to talk about?
No, nothing, nothing, nothing.
Not looking down the barrel of a long, scary orcas.
And I just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page.
Charge forth and save the world.
Sure, start charging out unless somebody
is saying otherwise.
I was just looking to see if I have something
I can do for us before we go.
Yeah, I was looking for like a fun spell.
OK, well, I'm going to, before we go, cast Bless.
Sully, Agath, and Moot are my three creatures
that I have blessed.
Bahamut be with you.
And I like touch each of your foreheads and.
OK, yeah, appreciate the trust that I
can just handle myself.
It's fine.
You don't need it.
I knew you could handle it.
Well, what if you guys were to go out full force
and then Flamekins and I sneak around and like,
I don't know, try to fuck him up from behind.
Fuck him up.
Yeah, I like it.
He doesn't know what to expect.
So like, we go out, spells blazing or swords blazing
or whatever, and then you guys do
whatever seems like a cool, powerful thing
to do when you get.
Three of you charge in, blowing the tapestry off
into the side and charge down,
pushing through this wave of demons
that seems to be just never ending.
I assume you're screaming some sort of valiant battle cry.
You just write like some or get a sound effect
of a really angry like pen scratching on paper.
OK, you charge forward, you're screaming your battle cry
and Orcus turns and looks at you.
You get a moment for one action
before he gets to react to you entering.
Well, I would love to like time it
so that my Eldritch blasts will arrive at the same moment
as Agath and Rax do.
OK, so Rax charge, charge, charge, hits it
with a hoof attack.
So I guess Rax will roll a really crappy hoof attack.
Does an eight hit him?
It might.
You know what?
No.
OK.
Yeah, cool.
Didn't think so.
Close, very close.
Yeah, so close.
All right, we'll just go with the flail then.
16.
No.
Wait, was I blessed?
So do I add a d4 to that crappy attack roll?
Not the one for Rax, but the 16.
You add a d4 to every attack.
So now it's a 17, Russ.
Boom.
You know what?
17 does it.
Are you serious?
Bahamut, Bahamut.
Blessed you.
Hashtag blessed.
All right, so then.
The only applicable time it should ever be used.
That's amazing.
So that is six bludgeoning, and then five d4,
something of my choice.
I don't know, what does Orcus look like he hates the most?
Fire, lightning, cold.
Tiamat doesn't give happiness.
I mean, probably radiant.
Can you choose radiant?
No, Tiamat does not.
It's one of the dragon head damages.
Makes sense.
Roll, I guess, to no resistances.
You would have studied Orcus a bit.
So let's roll history.
Yeah, I hate him.
I've been hating that guy for a long time.
Number one enemy.
Old school hating Orcus.
I was hating Orcus before it was cool.
That's right.
I really was.
History 20, dirty 20.
So you know that, or have a strong sense,
that Orcus is resistant to cold, fire, and lightning,
but also immune to necrotic poison,
bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing.
That is non-magic.
Perfect.
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
So everything?
So I think what's left was acid?
Yeah.
Okay, so this puppy's doing acid now.
I'm so glad that Agatha's so learned.
Okay, so.
Who thinks to go for acid?
No. Right?
Nobody.
16 acid damage,
and then the three, six magical bludgeoning damage
on the first attack.
17 plus 12.
And a D4 if you need it.
14 acid damage on that one.
And then the last strike of the flail.
Ooh, that's, oh, wait.
Four plus 12 is 16.
Roland Mablest again, plus another three.
So 19.
Thanks, Bahamut.
Bahamut coming in clutch.
Maybe helped plan the end of the world,
but you know, doing well right now.
Make it up for it.
I mean, this was more Tiamat.
Yeah.
Thanks, Tiamat.
You know, you guys get the blessing.
Both of them.
Both of them together.
Two sides of a good coin.
So that one is eight bludgeoning damage
plus 15 acid damage on that one.
Okay, Agatha comes rushing in,
Rax rears up and three huge flail hits go into Orcus.
You see these cut into,
and the acid begins to like sizzle away
the necrotic flesh that is on his leg
as you approach him.
Eldritch Blast come flying over your shoulder.
Give me some attack hits, Moot.
Yeah, let's do it.
12.
So that's a 22 on the first one
and a 28 on the second.
And then we've got a 26 and a 19.
All will hit.
Okay.
Welcome to Math Orcus.
Yeah, and welcome to like level,
real high level characters.
With auras all over the place.
Oh yeah, the auras, I forgot.
I didn't even add the D4s, oh my God.
You hit, you're good.
All right, for damage,
it is a D10 plus four for each one.
So I've got a 12, a six, a 10, and a 10.
Okay, 38, and that's force damage?
Yes, force damage.
Okay.
I'm just writing down numbers.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll add them all up later, just to keep me true.
And Glim.
Yes, yes.
Following in behind the Eldritch Blast,
flying through the air with a sweet weapon.
Yeah, here's the thing.
The weapon isn't the best thing I have,
but it looks the best, so it is what I'm gonna use.
It looks the most cinematic.
So yeah, I'm gonna come in with the Sun Blade,
which no longer has a blade,
but in fact has just a radiant,
like zoom, zoom, zoom blade.
It's a lightsaber.
Basically it's a luminous kind of lightsaber.
So, it was a bad roll,
but it's okay because I have a plus 13,
so that's a 17, which I believe.
17 hits.
Hits, okay, great.
Nice.
So that's 15 radiant damage.
Oh wait, whenever I hit, I get an extra D8.
Hell yeah.
Radiant damage, allows a one.
So what did I say the other one was?
Add a one to that.
Got it.
And then a second attack is a 21.
It is.
17 radiant damage on the second one.
Okay, so from.
Is he undead?
He's not, is he?
No, he's not.
I thought for a half second you asked if he was dead,
and I was like, oh my God, no.
I killed him, right?
He got like 30 points of damage,
so like.
Everybody else comes back in,
really just like, oh, just loosen that, that.
Pickle jar.
Pickle jar there for you.
From the blasted back point at the door,
you are picking yourselves up off the wall
and moving back towards the room,
and you see the other team burst through this tapestry
on the back wall and come through this horde of demons
and begin just wailing in melee range with Orcus.
Holy shit.
You see in, what you have visibility on
is you see in Orcus's hand,
he's conjuring a necrotic bolt,
and he raises it up to the ceiling
and is throwing it down on top of the three of them.
Oh, that's, oh, oh, that's so bad.
Okay, yeah, you guys should move.
He's gonna.
So I rolled for each of you,
because I wanted it to be fair.
The lowest one was a 30.
We're fine.
I love it.
Now, keep in mind,
I'm a little bit removed from the rest of them,
as I am a spell caster
and don't have to be right there.
And he is 30 feet tall,
so I feel like he's like.
Yeah, no, he's probably got some range,
but like, if he's focused in one area,
maybe I'm a little bit outside of that.
Yeah, I mean, I think you're gonna get hit on this one,
any other ranged or anything,
I will take into account that you are back.
Okay.
Wait, you said 38?
No, that doesn't, that doesn't hit, yeah.
Yeah, right.
Do remember if you're in 10 feet of me, Tom,
before you decide where you are.
Well, apparently I'm within.
You do have resistance to damage from spells, so.
I'm within for this one, so.
So that's 42 force damage.
Plus nine poison damage.
Sweet.
But from a spell?
It's from a spell, right?
But is it from a spell?
Did he hit us?
Well, it's from Necrotic Bolt,
which is a ranged attack,
not specifically a spell, but.
Ah, okay.
Yeah.
It should probably be a spell.
Yeah.
Counter spell wouldn't have helped.
Yeah, no, not in that moment, yeah.
While all this is going on,
Sully's gonna do a little tattoo on himself.
Okay.
He can through, like, at the best point,
it might come out,
and he's gonna use his absorbing tattoo.
It says that the DM can choose the color
or determines it randomly.
I choose Necrotic.
You're so nice.
So nice.
That is nice.
He wasn't nice earlier,
so, you know, he's bAlydincing out the scales here for me.
Okay, so he's got a black tattoo
of a scaly sketch in real quick.
Are you serious?
Are you tattooing right now,
like, under pressure?
You just wanted to do a little bit of arts and crafts here?
What the fuck?
We're supposed to, like, sneak in here.
Come on, now.
I don't wanna die.
Yeah, okay, can you hook me up?
I don't think it works that way.
Oh.
Well, shit.
Okay, let's. Sorry.
The two of you head overhead like the three stooges,
but there's only two of you,
which really, you're side by side
because you're both very small.
Can't actually do that.
You peek through and you see a way,
you see the other team across the way.
You see the massive necrotic bolt hit your friends
and they're blown back from the range that they were.
You see the other team across the way
and you see, with all these demons kind of rushing down,
that there is a path around the perimeter that you,
well, Sully, you see, because you've got true sight.
You see a path around the perimeter
that you could make your way to the other team,
if you so desire.
Hey, fight me against.
Follow me.
Yeah, yeah, okay, I'll.
Be quiet.
Be sneaky.
I'll undo your tails.
I'll just speak as loudly as you're speaking.
And we sneak around the perimeter.
The plinking violin music.
As the two of them are sneaking around the perimeter
towards the other team,
who meanwhile have dusted off their lapels
and are making their way back into the fray.
What do you all want to do
seeing the other team there?
Vorunax is gonna move back up to the group.
I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna follow.
I got inspired earlier,
so I'm gonna pop a bless on our group
and give that to Nighthunter, to Flint,
and to Lipsinki, and then to my three peoples.
Okay, everybody keeping track of all the blessings.
All of them.
With bless on, new aura effect happening.
Whoever speaks first gets to do something magical.
I mean, yeah, I'll see him throwing this necrotic
bolt thing down on everyone
and I'll throw my dwarven thrower towards him.
Give me an attack roll.
Smooth little plus 14, that's a 29.
Ooh, a 19, which is actually a crit.
The third one was a 30.
So I believe I owe you some damage rolls.
Yeah, you do.
Smooth 46.
Just a smooth 46.
Dwarven thrower rings out, which on the third hit
kind of stumbles him forward.
Make a dexterity saving throw
for the group that's down by his feet.
Oh, okay, gladly.
I was an 18 before any bonuses.
Okay, and then it would be a goth and glim as well.
16.
Didn't go so good for me, 14.
Moot, you with all those pluses,
you are fine because you're back a little ways too,
so you're at a lower DC.
A goth, you don't take any damage,
but you're knocked off racks
and you're down on the ground now.
Glim, you're going to take,
you get not stepped on entirely,
but like brushed up by this foot
that just comes quickly to catch himself.
You're gonna take 15, bludgeoning down.
Does Night Hunter still have the chains
that she picked up in Celestia?
I would say yes.
I don't know what they do.
Oh, the chains that you took from Bahamut's stuff.
Yeah.
Sure, what do you think they do?
Well, I think if I hit someone
or wrap them around someone,
it probably deals some, I don't know,
maybe some radiant damage.
Overthinking some Wonder Woman lasso style chains here.
I love it.
I've got the braziers, so.
Well, I've never used it before,
so I think I'm gonna whip it.
Coming in behind, you lash into the backside of Orcus.
Right on his butt.
Right on his butt.
That cuts deep into him with this radiant light.
19.
That'll hit.
22 damage.
In your second hit, these chains whip forth
and are dealing this radiant damage,
and then his tail swings around,
and he lets out this bellowing holler.
I wanna dodge it, Matrix style.
You can dodge it, Matrix style,
or you can try to.
He's going to try and hit you with it.
That's gonna be a 25.
Oh, yeah, but just barely hits me.
Okay, so that's gonna be 21 force damage,
nine poison damage.
Absinke.
Okay, oh man, I hate fighting this guy
when all my magic is from him.
It really makes things hard.
So I'm going to just Eldritch Blast.
Just Eldritch Blast at him.
Why not?
Why not?
Why not?
17.
Oh, now 20.
Yeah.
18.
11.
Almost rolled max damage.
34.
Whoa.
34, so that's pretty good.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're back in the hallway,
making your way back to the room,
and you feel like this drop down the hall proper
before you enter.
You look down, you hear
sound of demons fighting out and beyond
and in the courtyard from the way you were before,
and you begin walking down this hall
back to the statues that were there
that were housing weapons.
Nobody sees you turn and walk down there
and you make your way back down.
And before it was that you were running out
and there was so much happening,
you didn't have the presence to look
and to register what it is.
But in one of these sconces,
there is this dark set alcove
and there's this figure standing and holding a blade.
That blade has these glowing red eyes on it.
Oh, this fucking thing, God damn it.
I'm gonna try to talk to the blade.
Okay, you've got a moment to speak to the blade.
Yo, you alive?
You see the background shift in this space.
Clouds begin to move, lightning strikes
and there's this glow that comes from the entire blade
and then shrivels back.
I'm gonna take that as a yes.
Okay, blink two times, glow twice if you're evil,
once if you're good.
It glows once.
Oh, you can be fucking lying to me.
Thea shrugs and takes the blade.
You grab the blade and everything goes dark around you
and then comes back.
Did you blink?
Was it a long blink?
Am I just blinking?
It's a long blink.
That's what blinking is, everything goes dark.
Everything around you goes dark, you didn't blink
and then comes back and you're in the space
and you hear the eldritch blasts
and you hear Orcus whipping his tail
and blasts landing down on your friends.
You sheath the dagger and you make your way back
to the fray.
Okay.
As you make your way back to the door,
Sully and Flamikins come around the corner.
Hey, hey, Thea, hey, Thea, good to see ya.
It's been a long time, I fucked a dragon.
Oh, okay, that was information.
TMSPG dubs.
Okay, I mean.
Real, just like real stand up individual now,
I don't know if you know this.
You've had some a lot of changes.
I'm not sure if this is the time
to spill this kind of tea for,
in the middle of something.
I didn't get blessed, so.
I mean.
I'm really just kind of holding back.
Okay, that's something we can talk about
at a team meeting later, I guess.
Okay, great, great, great, great, great.
So what's the plan?
I see everybody's just kind of piling on.
Sully and I came over here to figure out
what's been happening with you
and maybe there's something brewing somewhere else
that we could be working on to make sure
that this doesn't, I mean, have you looked?
What happened?
Well, he is like, kind of like a god,
so it's really hard to kill him.
So I think everyone's just out there
doing their best, you know?
I found this dagger that called to me though,
so I think I'm gonna stab him with it.
Oh, right in the butt.
Yeah.
That's how all Orcuses die.
I don't know if that's true,
but are you guys gonna just be like all sneaky
and just come out behind him and do something great?
I don't know, Sully, was that the plan?
Were we gonna sneak up behind him and do something great?
Well, yeah, I think it's like
he means he's pretty distracted right now, so.
All right, let's go fucking give it a try.
Okay, you first.
A wave goes out from Orcus
as everybody starts to crowd around him
and everybody needs to make a constitution saving throw
who is within 60 foot radius.
So that's gonna be pretty much everybody.
Yeah. Yeah.
Did everybody beat a 23?
Yes. No.
No. Yes.
Okay, so those who did not save
take 25 necrotic damage.
Everybody else takes half.
Where Vorunax and Lipsinki are standing,
skeletal arms rise up from the area beneath you
in a 20 foot square
and last until basically for a full round.
Each creature in that area must make a DC
23 strength saving throw.
20, 25.
My dice have been fucking me all night.
That's an 11.
I'm so little and you're so big.
Well, you're slipping between them.
You're evading.
That's what you're doing.
That makes sense.
It's perfect.
Vorunax, you are restrained until the arms disappear
or until Orcus releases them.
No action required on my part to release them
but he won't.
But what if I cast freedom of movement
which allows me to not be restrained or paralyzed?
Well, you can do that when you have a good.
I will do that when my turn is up.
I do like that our strategy was just
going guns blazing.
Run in?
Yeah.
I'm so into it.
Otherwise you're gonna have four episodes of planning.
And also a goth.
That's what she would do.
100%.
It's what Glenn would do.
Glenn would start throwing bolts with his hands.
Just wanna punch this asshole in the face.
That has been the goal since day number one.
Yeah.
All the bridges have led us here.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Because Grancis isn't here, right?
Yeah, Grancis is.
Grancis is not currently.
Doing his own thing.
Not yet.
See, there was a plan.
Yeah, we had that part of the plan.
But we left a lot of the part of the plan to Grancis
and that was the major flaw in the plan.
This is probably a mistake in our approach, yeah.
Big gamble.
Oh, it's the middle and we've got some things to say
which is mostly just a reminder
that we've got a Google form in the description
where you can submit your questions about this season
and season one and all the things.
Dumbgeons and Dragons, Decimators of Dragons,
Destiny's Children, all of those things.
We wanna hear about them
because we're wrapping up season two.
We've only got a few episodes left after this.
Finale is expected by the end of September.
September 27th, which is very close.
And then we're gonna be recording a grab bag Q&A,
retrospect look back at the last six years,
nine if you include the four of us
playing around the table.
It's been a wild ride
where we've had very similar characters.
I mean, the same characters really for some of us
since we started first playing around the table
back in 2013, that feels like longer.
That's almost 10 years.
I can't math very well.
So what am I trying to say?
There's a Google form in the description of this episode
and we'll put it in the next few episodes as well
that we want you to send us your questions,
comments, wonderments, thoughts
on the story as we have built it.
Again, season three is gonna be something new
and different and fun and exciting
and we can't wait to share that with you.
We've started planning for that
and are gonna be releasing some world building episodes
and some thoughts and testing out new characters
and all of that.
But before we get to that, let's put a cap on this.
So we hope to have your questions.
Again, if you can send those into us by October 2nd,
we'll record on October 3rd
and we'll get that out to you very soon after that.
Okay, I think that's all I have for you now.
I'll go back to this episode and I hope you enjoy it.
The ground begins to shake
and fissures begin to open all over the throne room.
Intense tremors can be felt through yourselves.
Everybody make a constitution saving throw.
Now instead of doing that,
could Sully and Thea levitate?
What about if I just time a jump well?
Yes, that also, yeah.
Moot was all state high jump champ, I'll have you know.
Okay, those who did not beat a 23,
you are knocked prone and down into this rubble
that is forming from this earthquake
that is ringing out through the throne room.
You're gonna take 37 bludgeoning damage.
Everybody else, you maintain your footing
and you only take 30, not 30.
You only take 37 damage.
No, you only take 18 of that bludgeoning damage.
What if they levitated?
Do they take any damage?
If you levitated, you don't take damage
because you're floating in the air.
However, a giant TNT Acme Anvil falls on them.
It's a dynamite anvil?
Dynamite anvil, sounds like a band name.
Followed by Wile E. Coyote,
who was trying to catch the Road Runner.
It's Bort's turn.
All right, so I will head on forward
with probably my Dwarven Thrower.
Yeah, it's probably my best course of action here.
I'm not gonna get too close to him,
but I'm gonna, if there's a gap
where it's a little more spread out from other people,
I'm gonna go kinda occupy that space
and I will throw my hammer at him three times.
Okay.
First one's a crit with a 19,
second is a crit with an 18,
and then a two plus 14 is 16,
so I don't think that one's gonna hit.
Yes, sir, both those will hit.
But two crits. Recruit.
So like, we'll take that.
Dwarven Throwers zipping through the air,
ringing through the air as they crush into Orcus.
Orcus is going to take a couple steps back,
which is away from the portal at this moment.
Excellent.
Thea.
Okay, how close am I to him?
We kinda had you at the door,
so 30 feet.
Okay, so I'm gonna use my 30 feet
to run.
You're levitating?
No, because they're boots of levitation,
so unless someone pushes me in a general direction,
they're fucking useless.
Then the earthquake has created difficult terrain.
Okay, I say, Sully, give me a shove.
I want him to shove me, I wanna go a little bit.
I need to get a little closer to him.
Yeah, like, there's enough stuff on the ground
that you could propel yourself forward.
Oh, okay, yeah.
Yeah, be cool.
Hey, you said he's like 30 feet tall, right?
I'm gonna get close enough to him,
and then when I do,
I'm gonna take out one of my here-to-there diamonds.
I'm gonna throw it up in the air and catch it
focusing on landing on his neck.
And then I'm gonna take that weirdo dagger
and I'm gonna try to stab him in the eye with it.
Love it.
You propel yourself forward with the levitate.
You toss up the here-to-there diamond.
You are now directly in front of Orcus's face.
You can smell the hot, sticky, disgusting breath
washing over you.
Do you make an attack roll?
I do.
Oh, no.
That was a one.
Oh, no.
But I have two.
No, that's a crit fail.
I know, but I have two attacks.
Okay, so you reach to stab into Orcus's face.
You come up right in front of him
and swiftly a hand comes up in front of you,
and you stab him in the face.
You come up right in front of him
and swiftly a hand comes up and grabs you
and is holding you out.
You can take your second attack.
You feel his hand crushing down on your body.
Oh, God, no.
Okay.
Instead of attacking, I'm going to wild shape.
Bones begin to crush.
Jesus, hold on.
I panic.
I wild shape into a bat.
One of those little fruit bats.
So then his big hand is like, where'd she go?
Every breath you take is leaving you
and you're having trouble catching your breath
and then you snap into a small fruit bat.
You take 42 hand crushing damage.
Was that before the bat?
That was before the bat.
42 squished. Squished, yeah.
It's a bludgeoning probably, but.
Fuck.
And you are now a bat.
Orcus looks confused and is looking around
trying to swat at you.
You fly out of the way and you are up in the rafters
of this throne room.
The demons have slowed rushing forward,
but the final few begin to turn on you and your group.
Vorunax, you're still being held in place.
Three of them are going to rush towards you
and jump on top and try to attack you with advantage.
So a total of 26 slashing damage.
Cool.
What else you got?
You now have, that's what I've got right now.
Sully.
Sully watches Thea pull that bat shit crazy stuff
going on.
What you want to do now?
Go on.
Use the eye.
Well for fucking what?
To levitate or to make an ability check?
What the fuck do you want me to use the eye for?
Be more specific.
All the spells that you have.
Clairvoyance, crown of madness, disintegrate,
dominate monster, or eye bite.
Oh right, that one.
Listen, I'm sick.
Okay, I'm gonna bite him with my eye.
My eyes go black, become an inky void,
imbued with dread power.
Orcus must succeed on a wisdom saving throw.
Just gonna full stop right there
and let you use your legendary resistance.
I'll roll it first.
26.
So I, no, I guess that's it.
Sully just stares hard at him.
Orcus is swatting around for this bat
and you see him, he clocks you across the room.
He takes a quick step forward, swings his tail.
He's gonna swipe at a goth.
That's going to be a team 23.
No, bam, shield.
Denied. Deflect the tail
as it comes by.
Okay, Vorunax, you have three demons on top of you
and you're being restricted.
Yes, you are correct about that.
Strength saving throw to try and break free.
I don't wanna do that.
Okay.
Oh, right, you got freedom of movement.
Well, I do have that.
But I'm also going to do, instead of that,
I'm gonna do thunder step.
And I'm gonna teleport myself to an unoccupied space
you can see within range, which is 90 feet.
And Russ, would you let me thunder step my way up
onto Orcus's shoulder?
Yeah, sure.
I do that.
You were his right hand.
You were kind of an Iago to his Jafar.
Everybody just wants to get right in his face, eh?
So I need those three JoBees that were on top of me
to make a constitution saving throw.
They gotta beat a 212.
They didn't roll higher than a four.
Rolled for all of them.
So give it to them, baby.
So 15 thunder damage to them.
And resounding thunder can be heard
throughout the room.
So those demons, basically, they like explode.
They're eviscerated and the bones around,
the floor that were coming up and restraining you,
explode out, shrapnel going everywhere.
And you find yourself where you wanna be,
up on his shoulder.
Yes, yes, yes.
Anything you would like to do up on his shoulder.
Yeah, I just pop up there and I'm gonna say,
we're all gonna kill you.
You are going to end here today,
regardless of all the gods you eat.
Eat as many as you want.
I would forfeit them to see you die.
He turns his head to you.
In like an unnatural way,
you hear the bones in his neck clicking and cracking
as it turns to face you on your shoulder.
And his smile opens wide and flames
are billowing inside of it.
Smoke coming up and out of his nose.
Nothing happens yet.
That's all you see.
Night Hunter.
Night Hunter is gonna rage.
She lets out a maddened cry and rages as well as frenzies.
And then she is going to take the chains
and whip them and try to ensnare Orcus's leg.
How about 18?
Get him to make a strength saving throw.
It's a 16.
And is it like now encircled his leg?
Yeah, save that, yep.
Okay, does it continue to deal damage
as like being wrapped around him?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's what I want.
It will deal on, as long as you hold it on his leg,
it will deal an additional 10 at the start of his turn.
So while they're down there holding that,
she's gonna take Corpse Grinder and hack at his Achilles.
Okay, you've got the whip wrapped around his leg
and you're laying into him with the Corpse Grinder.
You feel the chains like buckle
and you feel movement within the chains.
And instead of a tail, he's going to try and fling you.
I'll give you a chance to either let go
or if you're gonna hang on,
you're gonna make a strength saving throw.
I think Night Hunter would hang on.
You hang on to this as this leg kicks out
and drags you through the air
and you are coming back down in like this arc,
but you're coming back down towards the portal
to the material plane.
Which as you see, you're arcing down and through
is like up, elevated in the sky.
It's like looking down.
You see now the view of the material plane
and you actually see Waterdeep,
not in the far distance
with all these demons swarming
and cascading towards this wall.
The army of Waterdeep is pushing them back
and fighting them back
and you are falling down through this portal
and everybody sees you holding on to this chain,
go down through and disappear from the throne room.
Glim.
What I'm gonna do is,
you said Night Hunter's still hanging on
or I guess we don't know.
They just disappeared.
Yeah, you can't see Night Hunter
from your current position.
Okay, well, I liked what they were doing
so I'm going to do the same similar thing
with the Sun Blade.
I'm gonna stab and then use Nature's Wrath
to like try and pin that foot down with spectral vines.
So then as a bonus action,
I'm gonna do ensnaring strike
so I have hit them with a melee attack
and then they need to make a strength throw
against a writhing mass of thorny vines
at the point of impact where I have stabbed
and I was aiming for that same,
what did I make that clear?
That's attached to my friend.
I wanna try and hold it there
so they can hopefully still be holding on
and climb back up that chain.
His foot's in place,
he's not gonna use something
to try and break out of that right now.
Okay, great.
His foot is restrained.
Okay.
Agath.
Do I have any position here
where I could, you know, I don't know,
maybe set off a giant cone of pain
and not catch any of my allies in it?
Just right at his groin.
Could I like blast it into his dick?
Yeah, yeah.
Because if Arnox is up on the shoulder,
I'm over by the foot.
I'm nowhere near that dick, so you're good.
I specifically spread out away from other people.
It is a 90-foot cone,
just to be fair to,
I mean, if you're right underneath,
You're right underneath.
Okay.
I mean, it's gonna spread out,
it's gonna hit, yeah, absolutely.
It's gonna hit him in the dick.
So I'm going to just like whip that flail around,
get nice like a vortex going
and it's gonna blast acid right up there.
He's gonna need to make a dexterity saving throw.
It's just nair.
And his one foot is holding him still.
Oh yeah, is that gonna affect the dexterity?
Maybe, it's not very dextrous with his.
Can't really dodge it.
Nope.
Okay, that's a 12.
It's dexterity saving throw.
He's looking at Vorunax.
He's shaking his foot.
He put his right foot in,
he put his right foot out.
He did the hook.
He got his right foot stuck in some things.
I don't think it makes sense for him
to see this coming,
a blast of acid at his dick.
All right.
So no, no, he's good.
Well, then I'm gonna roll my 14d6 unimpeded.
Oh my God.
Oh shit.
That's gonna be 52 points of acid dick damage.
I think that's pretty damn good.
I don't think he's got a dick anymore.
That's it, it's gone.
The dick is outta here.
No baby orcas is.
And then, you know what?
Fuck it, I'm gonna action surge.
Yeah, fuck you.
So that I can hit him some more.
I can't do that again, that's done for the day.
But I can hit him three times with the flail.
She keeps hitting me in the dick.
Repeatedly.
49 points of acid slash magic bludgeoning plus nine.
So that's another 58 points of flail damage
on that action surge.
He really should not have pissed off Goth.
Yeah, and then Goth just also remembered
that she's a cleric.
So screw it, let's have a little bonus action.
The spiritual weapon.
Hell yeah.
Yes.
Fucking do it.
Amazing.
So a Goth was previously a cleric of Eldath.
And her symbol is a waterfall plunging into a still pool.
So let's just make this like radiant water
pouring down on him.
Is he dead yet?
Not yet.
Orcus takes a massive acid blast to the dick.
Followed by repeated blows and he falls to a knee.
He varnocks, make a dexterity saving throw
as he is falling.
You gotta try and hold on.
That is a 15.
Okay, you can hold on however you do
whether to grow skin or mask
or however you find yourself on there.
He takes these hits and everybody sees
the same like ghostly auras
in the first battle.
This was the first time that Muclum
and Sully or Goth and flaming kins all see this.
But these ghostly auras begin to leave different
like cut marks on Orcus.
And they're clouding around him.
It's not clear if they're moving in a direction
but they're beginning to like sieve out of him.
There is a sound that is back down the hall.
It's a like low buzzing sound that you hear.
It's off in the distance.
Sounds very far away but there's this low buzzing sound.
And Moot, it is now your turn.
Okay, Moot reaches into his pouch
and he pulls out what looks like a red colored vial
and he casts Summon Fiend at a seventh level.
Okay.
So it requires concentration up to one hour.
I call forth a fiendish spirit.
It manifests in an unoccupied space that I can see
which we'll just do right next to Orcus.
When I cast the spell, I choose either a demon,
a devil or a Yugaloth.
And I'm gonna go with the demon.
And it is an ally to me and my companions.
It shares my initiative count
and takes his turn immediately after mine.
This demon appears in front of Orcus
and it will throw some multi-attack bite action his way.
The first two, first one is a 16, second one is a 27
and third one is a 19.
Okay, first one doesn't hit, second two do.
It's 14 on the first one and a 13 on the second one.
So 27 in total.
This fiend shows up and starts laying into Orcus
and these auras
every hit begins shooting off
and there's different colors coming up and out
of different wounds that are inflicted within Orcus.
Okay, Lipsinki.
This is gonna Ultra Blast him.
In the dick.
Of course, yeah, hit him where it hurts.
In the missing dick.
Orcus is, has sustained an intense amount of damage
in these last 12 seconds.
Fuck D&D battle.
He is actively trying to crawl as much as he can
towards the portal right now.
Yeah, he's trying.
He moves as much as he can
and then like the tension in his leg
where he's restrained is holding him back.
See him reach.
He's trying to pull himself forward.
And then everyone hears this booming voice
throughout the room.
It's Orcus' voice, but it's not coming from Orcus
and it's like pinging itself around.
It lands on board.
Everyone is focused on Orcus,
but the lair action is deadly utterance.
Orcus' voice booms throughout the lair
and lands on one creature of Orcus' choice
and they're subject to power word kill.
Are you below 100 hit points?
Yes, indeed I am.
It hits you, Bort, like a ton of bricks.
In Thea from up above, you see Bort's body go rigid
and fall to his knees and then fall face first.
I will voice a terrible cry later,
right in this spot right here.
Everybody hears the body hit and it silences the room.
There's like this one last exasperated breath
that comes from Orcus as all of these auras vacate
his now deceased corpse.
The buzzing sound from down the hall intensifies
and flying in on backs of these winged creatures
are thousands of Grancis.
That begin pouring out and down through the portal.
The one true Grancis comes forward.
Says, you got him, did you get him?
I mean, he doesn't have a dick anymore, so.
And as all of these grandsai are pouring down
into the material plane,
you all look down through this portal.
Flames roiling and you see these demon creatures
tearing havoc over the plane.
They also see Night Hunter hanging on by one hand
with her huge bicep and just corpse grinder in the other,
just slashing out whatever things are coming by her.
And that's where we'll leave today's episode.
Dumbgeons and Dragons, season two, episode 153,
starring Amy More as Thea, Night Hunter, and Sully.
Carla Maxted as Lipsinki and Glim,
Tom Laird as Bort and Moot,
with Kyle Claset as Vorunax,
Kristen Flemmons as a Goth,
Godloss Cthulhu Alavi, Peter Joseph Lewis as Orcus,
and Russ More as your dungeon master.
Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted,
and sound design by Russ More.
This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound
and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
Flight of the Bumblebee is by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov,
released under public domain and Creative Commons.
And a huge thank you to our supporting producers,
Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok,
Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown,
Craig Zeiss, Old School Gamer D,
Perry Matey, Angaron Kiersen,
Nathaniel Teeter, and Destiny.
Like the stories that we're putting together?
Of course you do, you've stuck around
to the end of the credits.
Support us today at Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast
for amazing bonus content.
Wonderful community, friends.
Did I tell you there's great friends in the community?
But also, you get to have a whole lot of fun.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast.
We hope to see you over there.
And now, I mean, that's it from me.
So we hope you have a great week
and we'll talk to you soon.
Hello, Sullivan's light.
Hello, voice inside my head.
I was really hoping the voice would come on
and say like, look at this photograph.
Oh God.
Oh God.
If it's just gonna play Nickelback on repeat,
I'm gonna pull this thing out.
The ultimate punishment.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.